Preparing yourself for true partnership is a sacred process.
With a trusted guide (who's been where you are), the journey can unfold with more ease and joy than going it alone.
Hi. I'm Emily.
Healer of Hearts
Midwife of Magical Living
Partner on your Path to Love
(but it took me a long and winding road to claim these roles)
If you had told me even five years ago that I would one day be guiding women into deeper relationship with themselves and others, it would have been almost impossible for me to believe.
Already in my late 30s, I felt shame around my relationship status—single, not by choice, but by confusion, fear of intimacy, and low self-confidence.
Although I appeared high functioning on the outside, relating to other people and potential partners in ways that were true, mutual, and vulnerable seemed unattainable to me. Deep down, I felt like I didn’t belong, had trouble trusting myself and my choices, was terrified of rejection, and, ironically, terrified of rejecting others. (Life gets complicated when you say yes, but want to say no.)
Not only that, I couldn’t fully enjoy my stretches of solitude because being on my own made me feel like a failure.
This struggle, not only for romance, but self-trust and self-belonging had been with me for as long as I could remember.
As a creative, intelligent, sensitive, and empathic person, I grew up feeling confused and out of place in a world that seemed designed to dismiss and even punish emotional truth, rawness and vulnerability.
I learned early on to stuff down my sadness and anger; feel shame around my desire for pleasure; become agreeable even if I disagreed; lose touch with what I wanted; and focus all my energy on being a 'good, successful girl.’
"Whatever you want," became my mantra.
My source of power and nourishment got (mis)placed outside of me, seeking approval from other people and basing my self-worth on whether they gave it or not.
(perhaps you can relate?)
This survival strategy of self-abandonment was the perfect recipe for a decades-long struggle with deep depression and self-doubt.
Like many in emotional pain who have tried the more commonplace routes of talk therapy and medication without lasting success, I eventually sought answers and relief in the complementary healing arts. I simply couldn’t accept what I was being told by several mainstream counselors and doctors—that I would simply have to deal with my depression all my life, rather than heal it. Deep down, something in me knew that there had to be another possibility.
The search for healing—and the paradigm shift
(in other words, becoming a living laboratory and having a breakthrough)
With determination over many years, I explored and trained in different models of healing and wellbeing—models that describe the mind-body-energy system as a dynamic whole; that recognize how trauma, if not released, gets stored, not just in the mind, but in the body and nervous system; that actually acknowledge life force energy (aka chi, prana, etc.) and its unhindered flow as essential to our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
Between going to grad school for acupuncture, becoming national board certified in reflexology, studying various coaching models and then spending six years immersed in the world of energy psychology working for the international Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), I eventually experienced some breakthroughs.
By my mid-30s, I had overcome clinical depression. Meaning, I truly felt well and no longer identified as a depressed person. That was an epic paradigm shift for me. I eventually started working with others, opening an in-person healing arts practice in the suburbs of Philadelphia in 2014.
But I still struggled with romance...
Even though I had much more peace with myself when I was on my own, the arena of relationships continued to mystify me. I would cycle through a combination of hiding and isolation; longing for unavailable men; running away from relationships with real potential; and getting entangled with people who were in no way a good match for me.
It was deeply painful to feel such incredible desire for intimacy while experiencing so many inner blocks to true connection.
I read books like the Soulmate Secret and Soul Love and took online relationship courses like Soulmate School. I made lists, set intentions, cleared space in my house, said prayers, and did rituals and meditations as recommended. And some of it was helpful in that it kept me hopeful. But, in many ways, I still felt like I was just spinning my wheels. There were some deep insecurities, old wounds and unhelpful patterns of belief that weren’t transforming with these predominantly mental (albeit ‘spiritually oriented’) approaches. I finally realized, much like the depression, these intimacy patterns weren't just mental constructs—they were also energetic and body-based.
At 38, after a particularly confusing and manipulative relationship, I dove inward using the same tools (and seeking support from others who practiced them) that had helped me shed the pattern of depression. This was a powerful combination of energy psychology, coaching, and spiritual perspective work that addressed my whole body-mind-energy system in transforming old wounds and deeply limiting beliefs around relationships.
And something finally unlocked...
My fantasy-based, rom-com notion of relationship (aka my desire to be rescued and/or rescue another), started to melt away and a new vision emerged: to be deeply anchored in self-love alongside someone who was equally connected and kind with themself. And, from there, to enjoy sharing creativity, honesty, sensuality, adventure, play, and purpose in the world.
At 39, I met my amazing life partner, and am four years into the discovery process of what it takes to grow and maintain a healthy bond; of what is required in the daily dance to take great care of myself while also being oriented toward the wellbeing of another.
Admittedly, some days, I’m not a very good dancer…
But no matter the relational dynamics, I know that I will never again doubt my belonging in this world or my inherent worthiness for healthy, deep connection.
I am now anchored in the understanding that I get to choose to relate with people who bring me joy; to speak my truth lovingly; and to honor my values and beautiful boundaries.
And deep down I know, with all the ups and downs of life in a body, I am always ok and can fully enjoy the mystery ride.
I would love for you to know this in the marrow of your bones too.
"How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."
- Rupi Kaur
Here's a little more about my credentials:
PSYCH-K Facilitator, 2013-present
Certified Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) Professional, 2013-present
Presence-Based Coach Training with Doug Silsbee, 2014
Worked with the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP) from 2011-2017
Yo San University for Traditional Chinese Medicine, 2001-2003
Dartmouth College, Class of 2000
When not Zooming with amazing women making leaps in love...
I'm writing odes to life, creating an urban garden oasis with my partner in Philly and learning (slowly, but surely) to take myself less seriously, show up more authentically and live with a spirit of "yes!" to it all.
Oh! And dreaming of cabin life.
To schedule your free 30-minute connection call, click the "Let's chat" button below.
I feel so much lighter!
When I started working with Emily, I was struggling with a strong attachment to somebody that was never fully giving back what I wanted. I was also working all the time and feeling a lack of ability to create boundaries that would keep me sane. I’ve come to realize those are ways I had been staying isolated and keeping myself distanced from real relating.
In my work with Emily, I’ve come a lot farther than I thought I would. But not just In letting go of this person and seeing my self-sabotaging patterns more clearly. I’ve also started to feel open to connecting with somebody else—and, more importantly, open to simply feeling happy in my life. It sounds like that shouldn’t be such a revelation, but I realize I can be happy, and why not? Who have I been struggling for and why?
In the intake form there was a question of how I wanted to feel at the end of our work together. I felt heavy at the time and weighed down in life. I wanted to feel lighter. And that is how I feel. I don’t have any tattoos, but I feel so transformed, I’ve actually thought about getting one.
I’ve also actually lost 20 pounds over the past few months. So I’m physically and emotionally lighter. This transformational work fell in my lap at the moment I needed it. A true blessing. I would highly highly recommend people take this journey.
I'VE OVERCOME MY ANXIETY ABOUT THE WHOLE PROCESS.
Emily has a way of noticing and drawing things out of you that you didn’t even realize were the sources of your stuckness. It’s not like any other program I’ve participated in before. I felt immense safety and validation even as we uncovered and clarified unhelpful patterns that were running in my life.
I’ve released blocks and overcome my anxiety about the whole process—not only of finding a suitable life partner, but also in seeking new employment.
That was huge for me—to see the parallels in my attitude, behaviors, and reactions in the job search and in the dating process. At first I didn’t think my job concerns were relevant to the work in True You, True Boo, but then it became abundantly clear how connected everything is in life. It’s about not getting attached too quickly and not taking other people’s responses personally. It’s about trusting my intuition instead of overriding it.
When I think about finding my life partner now, instead of anxiety, I feel confident that I will choose what’s right for me when the time is right. I won’t second guess myself or give my power away the way I used to. I highly recommend going through this program with Emily. She's genuine, compassionate and she's truly here to help.
THE GOOD NEWS?
We're living in an era blooming with powerful mind-body-energy modalities rooted in ancient wisdom practices, but tailored for these times.
With new insights from brain science, neurobiology, and quantum physics, we can create deep transformation at the level of our beliefs and nervous systems without having to go monastic on a mountain top.
By simultaneously engaging the conscious mind, the body, and subtle energy systems (via the meridians, chakras, and biofield), we can fairly swiftly liberate the energy that's long been tied up in:
Limiting beliefs that no longer serve you
Unresolved emotions from the past that create tension in your nervous system
Maintaining your comfort zone (aka the status quo that's keeping you 'safe' but not satisfied)
With this new freedom, you can finally channel your life energy into enjoying the present and creating the future you desire.
So, while you might be feeling frustrated or exhausted with what you've tried so far on the path to partnership, let me reassure you and encourage you to carry on.
I know from personal experience and through my work with clients that with the right tools and the right support (in concert with your devotion to healing and growth), the love breakthrough you yearn for is possible!
READY FOR TRANSFORMATION?
(in other words, less head-tripping, more heart-skipping)
The True You, True Boo program is designed to help you move from your head into your heart so you can start to breathe life back into all the parts of you that went offline in states of early overwhelm, heartbreak and disappointment.
Through one-to-one energy psychology and coaching sessions, I expertly guide you through the self-reclamation process. Your past becomes the past as we release the pain and harvest the gifts of your experiences. Resentment and fear melt away and confidence and optimism grow.
Many of us have been using our creative energy to try to solve issues long gone, and no wonder we feel drained. That's the juice we're meant to use for moving forward. This work helps stop the leak, and creates a powerful container for bringing your true desires to life.
In my 10+ years as a healing arts practitioner, coach, and energy psychology facilitator, I have come to rely on two of the most powerful mind-body tools I know for facilitating deep and lasting change: PSYCH-K for subconscious belief change work and Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) for helping release stuck energy from the nervous system and transforming painful perception into peace.
By assisting with letting go of the past and installing helpful beliefs and expectations for the future, these approaches help produce a more resourced state in the present. This sets the stage for taking action in the world deeply rooted in our inherent wholeness, worthiness, confidence, beauty, and belonging.
The ‘secret of life’ is belief. Rather than genes, it is our beliefs that control our lives. PSYCH-K is a set of simple, empowering techniques to change your beliefs and perceptions that impact your life at a cellular level. PSYCH-K can change long-standing, limiting beliefs in a matter of minutes.
Dr. Bruce Lipton, author of Biology of Belief
There are few things more inspiring than witnessing a woman emerge out of the cocoon of her conditioning and reconnect with her worth, lovability, self-trust, personal power, courage and beauty.
Because everything in our lives is connected, women who go through this program are not only making strides in their love lives, but also in their careers, their health, and in repairing relationships with their family of origin. When we transform core beliefs and nourish and care for our essence, the fullness of our lives can truly blossom.
HEART SAYING YES?
THE FIRST STEP IS TO SCHEDULE A COMPLIMENTARY DISCOVERY CALL WITH ME TO MAKE SURE THIS PROGRAM IS A GOOD FIT.
Drop me a line at emilyasnider (at) gmail (dot) com
IN SUMMARY, THIS PROGRAM IS FOR YOU IF YOU TEND TO
Disconnect from your discernment
Lose your sense of self
Hush your intuition
Go co-dependent without even noticing
Pine for the unavailable (or become unavailable yourself)
Ignore your needs and values
Disown your own voice
Feel like you don't belong or a nagging loneliness
Forget your desires (because you’re afraid they’ll never be met by another)