Hi! I'm Emily.
Healer of Hearts
Midwife of Magical Living
Partner on your Path to Love
But it took me a long and winding road to claim these roles
If you had told me even five years ago that I would one day be guiding women into deeper relationship with themselves and others, it would have been almost impossible for me to believe.
Already in my late 30s, I felt shame around my relationship status—single, not by choice, but by confusion, fear of intimacy, and low self-confidence.
Although I was high functioning on the outside, relating to other people and potential partners in ways that were vulnerable, mutual, and secure seemed unattainable to me. Deep down, I felt like I didn’t belong, had trouble trusting myself and my choices, was terrified of rejection, and, ironically, terrified of rejecting others. (Life gets complicated when you say yes, but want to say no.)
Not only that, I couldn’t fully enjoy my stretches of solitude because being on my own made me feel like a failure.
This struggle, not only for romance, but self-trust and self-belonging had been with me for as long as I could remember.
As a creative, intelligent, sensitive, and empathic person, I grew up feeling confused and out of place in a world that seemed designed to dismiss emotional truth, rawness and vulnerability.
I learned early on to stuff down my sadness and anger; feel shame around my desire for pleasure; become agreeable even if I disagreed; lose touch with what I wanted; and focus all my energy on being a 'good, successful girl.’
"Whatever you want," became my mantra.
My source of power and nourishment got (mis)placed outside of me. I sought approval from other people and based my self-worth on whether they gave it or not. Maybe you can relate?
This survival strategy of self-abandonment was the perfect recipe for a decades-long struggle with deep depression and self-doubt.
Like many in emotional pain who have tried the more commonplace routes of talk therapy and medication without lasting success, I eventually sought answers and relief in the complementary healing arts.
I couldn’t accept what I was being told by several mainstream counselors and doctors—that I would have to deal with my depression all my life, rather than heal it. Deep down, something in me knew that there had to be another possibility.
I spent years exploring and training in different models of healing and wellbeing—models that describe the mind-body-energy system as a dynamic whole; that recognize how trauma, if not released, gets stored in the mind, body, and nervous system; that actually acknowledge life force energy (aka chi, prana, etc.) and its unhindered flow as essential to our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
Between going to grad school for acupuncture, becoming national board-certified in reflexology, studying various coaching models and then spending six years immersed in the world of energy psychology working for the international Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP), I finally experienced some breakthroughs.
By my mid-30s, I had overcome clinical depression. Meaning, I truly felt well and no longer identified as a depressed person.
That was an epic paradigm shift for me. And I eventually started working with others, opening an in-person healing arts practice in the suburbs of Philadelphia in 2014.
But I still struggled with romance...
Even though I had more peace with myself when I was on my own, the arena of relationships continued to mystify and challenge me. I would cycle through a combination of hiding and isolation; longing for unavailable men; running away from relationships with real potential; and getting entangled with people who were in no way a good match for me.
It was deeply painful to feel such an incredible desire for intimacy while experiencing so many inner blocks to true connection.
Over the years, I read soulmate-themed books and took online courses to prepare me for my beloved. I made lists, set intentions, meditated, cleared space in my house, said prayers, and did rituals as recommended.
And some of it was helpful in that it kept me hopeful.
But, in many ways, I still felt like I was just spinning my wheels. There were some deep insecurities, old wounds, and unhelpful patterns of belief that weren’t transforming with these predominantly mental (albeit ‘spiritually oriented’) approaches.
I finally realized, much like the depression, these intimacy patterns weren't just mental constructs—they were also energetic and body-based.
At 38, after a particularly confusing and manipulative relationship, I finally dove inward using the same tools (and seeking support from people who practiced them) that had helped me shed the pattern of depression—a powerful combination of energy psychology, coaching, and spiritual insight practices that addressed my whole body-mind-energy system.
Something finally unlocked.
My fantasy-based, rom-com notion of relationship (aka my desire to be rescued and/or rescue another), started to melt away and a new vision emerged: to be deeply anchored in self-love alongside someone who was equally connected and kind with themself. And, from there, to enjoy sharing creativity, honesty, sensuality, adventure, play, and purpose in the world.
At 39, I met my amazing life partner, and am four years into the discovery process of what it takes to grow and maintain a healthy bond; of what is required in the daily dance to take great care of myself while also being oriented toward the wellbeing of another.
Admittedly, some days, I’m not a very good dancer…
But no matter the relational dynamics, I know that I will never again doubt my belonging in this world or my inherent worthiness for healthy, deep connection.
I am now anchored in the understanding that I get to choose to relate with people who bring me joy; to speak my truth lovingly; and to honor my values and beautiful boundaries.
And deep down I know, with all the ups and downs of life in a body, I am always ok and can fully enjoy the mystery ride.
I would love for you to know this in the marrow of your bones too.
ME AND
MY BOO
"How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."
- Rupi Kaur
CHARLOTTE WATSON
Huge shift in self-worth!
Emily is so supportive, compassionate and non-judgmental. Even if there’s something you’d be a little bit shy or embarrassed about sharing, she creates a truly safe space to feel into those and air them so they’re not hidden in the shadows anymore. And, with the energy psychology tools, It’s amazing work to be able to use the body and the subconscious mind to get to the heart of things rather than having to battle with the conscious mind. It’s so much easier and efficient.
I used to have issues with self-worth around being able to set boundaries and have my needs and desires met in relationships. This was a big pattern in my unhealthy marriage. Even after my marriage, relationships felt mediocre—like they needed more work than I would get out of them, so what was the point?
As a result of this work, my self-worth has deepened and grown and I now feel like, “Oh yeah—I’m worthy of a good relationship. I know my needs will be met with the right person. It just feels like a natural inevitability.”
Overall, I’m living more from a feeling of surrender and relaxation and am more anchored in my feminine nature. I now trust that the right things will come to me when I’m in this being and receiving zone rather than the masculine “work harder/try harder” mode that I was brought up with.
A little more about my credentials:
PSYCH-K Facilitator, 2013-present
One of the most powerful belief-change and life design processes I know of (and I've trained in many modalities over the years)
Certified Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) Professional, 2013-present
A beautiful mind-body modality for helping us digest challenging experiences and gain insight from them. I teach all my clients how to use TAT as a home practice.
Worked with the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP) from 2011-2017
A six-year deep dive exploring pioneering healing modalities and how these approaches can fit into more established frameworks, such as counseling, coaching, and medicine
Presence-Based Coach Training with Doug Silsbee, 2014
Being truly present with another might be one of the best medicines on the planet
Yo San University for Traditional Chinese Medicine, 2001-2003
Studied the foundational principles of acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine
Dartmouth College, Class of 2000
Long New Hampshire winters, stunning river-swimming summers, degree in creative writing
When not Zooming with amazing women who are making leaps in love...
I'm writing odes to life, creating an urban garden oasis with my partner in Philly and learning (slowly, but surely) to take myself less seriously, show up more authentically and live with a spirit of "yes!" to it all.
Oh! And dreaming of big vistas, the sound of the ocean, and cabin life.
A little more background—just for fun...
I come from a long line of astrologers, psychics, artists and adventurers. My namesake (great grandmother on my dad’s side) grew up in the Appalachians in Sneedville, Tennessee. She was functionally illiterate until her 60s, but she could read palms, and became a beloved wing walker on a five-cent dare (as in, "I bet you a nickel you won't parachute off that plane with me."). This was in the 1950's. Check out this newspaper clipping here.
I was taught to think of the earth as a spaceship (ala Buckminster Fuller) by my dad in elementary school, introduced to the works of the mystic philosopher Gurdjieff by the time I was in high school, and traveled solo in Nicaragua and El Salvador as a teenager in the early 1990s. This mind-bending constellation of early influences and experiences put me firmly on track to live a life questioning appearances of reality.
I dabbled with the idea of being a car mechanic in college and traded an internship at an international architecture firm for a summer-long mechanics intensive. In the end, I think I just wanted to wear coveralls.
I hug trees. (Less and less self-consciously with each passing year.)
As a former singer-songwriter, I love alliteration. And rhyming too. And Leonard Cohen. emilyarin.bandcamp.com
It feels good to write the following: swim in rivers at night; feel the forest breathe with you; watch bees drink flowers.
Work 1:1 with me
MY GIFT TO YOU—A FREE MINI COACHING SESSION FOR DEEP IMPACT
If you're feeling truly ready to make breakthroughs in relating, it would be my pleasure to gift you a powerful, complimentary 30-minute coaching and energy psychology session. This way you can experience what it would feel like to have me as your coach and facilitator.
It is my intention for this appointment to be impactful in your life and a helpful opportunity for us to explore our collaborative fit. If this invitation sparks a "yes" for you, send an email my way: emilyasnider@gmail.com. I look forward to meeting with you soon!
VALUES: As a wholehearted human, I know deep in my bones that we're all in this experience together and that the safety and wellbeing of each and every one of us matters. My work in this world is based on inclusion for people across all races, ages, colors, ethnicities, gender identities, sexual orientations, disability/abilities, and socioeconomic backgrounds. If money is a true hardship, please inquire about partial scholarship opportunities.